Embers to a Flame
by PerfectlyPersuasive
Summary: Does the fire in our hearts ever truly extinguish once first love is lost or do the embers burn forever? When tragedy throws them together again, will Edward and Bella be able to resist the flames? My entry for the Love through Lemons contest. AU/AH


**Love through Lemons TwiFic Contest**

**Hosted by tby789 & LolaShoes  
**

**Title: Embers to a Flame  
**

**Words: 4,995**

**I don't own Twilight.  
**

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I close my eyes the moment the coffin is lowered into the freshly dug grave, gripping them shut with all my might, hoping when I open them, this would just be a horrible, distorted dream. It can't be real. I'm not equipped to deal with these kind of emotions.

An arm is gently placed around my shoulders, trying to console me. Comfort, pity, sympathy - I don't fucking want any of it.

I shrug myself out of the embrace to throw my blood red rose into the grave, and I can't help the scoff that escapes my lips at this ridiculous tradition.

He wouldn't want a damn flower.

My body turns the moment the rose makes it's silent descent, removing me from the constant parade of apologies. I can't remember making the decision to leave, but I'm not going back. I don't think I can ever go back.

I quickly walk toward the road where the procession parked, cursing these fucking black pumps every single time the heel sinks into the wet ground. I'm faintly aware that I'm being followed, and I wish whoever it is would just leave me alone.

The moment my feet hit the concrete, I stop, unsure of my next move. I look to the front of the line at the ominous black town car that brought me to this shitty place. I can't leave. I didn't drive here, and the frustration boils over inside me.

"God damn it!" I scream, clenching my fists at my sides, trying to get control of my ragged breaths.

"Bella?" A familiar voice calls from behind me. I shudder slightly at the images that pass through my mind...his face, his hands...

"Did you drive here?" I question, keeping my back to him.

"Yes."

I nod, confirming my plan in my head. "Good. Take me out of here," I beg, turning to finally face him.

"Where?"

"I don't know...anywhere, but here," I cry out, desperate to leave this miserable place. I need to get the fuck out of this graveyard before I lose my last shred of control.

"What about all the people coming to your house?" He asks.

"Renee can handle it," I state.

"But, Bella..."

"Please," I plead as tears fill my eyes. "Just, please."

He gives me a small nod, and I follow him to his car.

I slip into the passenger seat and immediately place my head in my palm, staring out the window. I watch the graves disappear, replaced with lush growth on the side of the road, and I close my eyes until the slight shaking of the car alerts me to the fact we are no longer on the highway.

I open my eyes, examining my surroundings. I know this road. I have traveled down it thousands of times, but I don't belong here anymore.

"What are we doing here?" I ask, keeping my eyes locked on the trees whizzing past us.

"I didn't know where else to go, Bella," he replies softly as we pull up to the large, white house.

"I hope this is okay," he mumbles as he stops the car in the drive. He turns his body to look at me, making me fidget uncomfortably in my seat.

"It's fine," I sigh, opening the door to escape the suffocation of the small vehicle.

He unlocks the front door, following me inside and shutting it behind him

"Where are your parents?" I ask aloud before the silence of the house overwhelms me.

"Umm...they're at Charlie's," he answers quietly.

"He left it to me," I say suddenly, spinning around to face him. "What am I going to do with his house, Edward?" I ask as my voice breaks.

He runs his fingers through his permanently disheveled bronze hair, a nervous trait he's had for as long as I've known him. Memories of my fingers playing with his locks rush through my mind, staggering me where I stand.

"Bella?" He grabs my arm, supporting my falling frame.

"I cant...It's too..." I stumble over my words, shaking myself from his embrace to put distance between us.

"Oh, God, Edward," I gasp as reality sets in. I place a hand over my mouth to cover the cries of mourning falling from my lips. "Charlie, he's...he's...really gone."

I slump to the floor, falling to my knees, supporting myself with my open palm. I don't remove my other hand from my mouth as my sobs get louder with each wave of memories and regret crashing through my body.

"Shh, Bella," Edward says softly as he crouches down beside me, rubbing my upper back with his hands. "It's going to be alright."

I move my body as far away from him as I can, letting him know through my actions that he needs to get...his...hands...off...me.

"Alright?" I scoff. "It's not going to be fucking alright, Edward. My father is **dead**," I spit out, emphasizing the last word to make some stupid point to him.

It just makes me hurt worse.

Edward sits on the floor next to me as my body slowly adjusts to the intense, overwhelming sadness and my shoulders stop shaking. All that's left of me are the tears I can't stop from leaking out my eyes.

We stay like that for an unmeasurable amount of time, on the wooden floor in the foyer, not touching, our breathing the only sounds in the still quietness of the giant house.

The silence is stifling, pushing me further into the ground, burying me as well, and I just want to fucking scream.

"God!" I yell out, startling Edward. "I'm just so DAMN ANGRY!!" A growl escapes my clenched jaw as my fingernails cut into palms.

"It's okay to be angry, Bella," Edward says calmly, trying unsuccessfully to soothe me with his words.

It's the easiest thing I've ever done, turning my anger onto him. "Don't tell me what to be or feel, Edward Cullen," I state in a warning tone.

"Bella..."

"What are you even doing here?" I ask rudely, interrupting and glaring through slitted eyes.

He looks confused before hurt covers his features. "I couldn't not come. I wanted to be here for Charlie, for you," he pauses, taking a deep breath. "I didn't want you to have to go through this alone."

I stand as fury encompasses my entire body. I can feel my jaw trembling with a fresh round of tears, adding more fuel to the fire raging inside of me.

"You didn't want me to be alone?" I sneer sarcastically. "I'm sorry to tell you this," I pause, "but you're about eight fucking years too late."

I throw my hands up by face, straining the joints of my fingers, biting the inside of my cheek to keep myself from screaming until I lose my voice. I turn my back to him and walk to the other side of the room, cherishing each step that moves me further away. I can feel his eyes on my back, boring holes into my black dress, burning my skin.

"Bella..."

"No, Edward. Shut the fuck up," I warn, keeping my back to him. "Seriously. This is the last thing I need."

"I'm sorry," he practically whispers.

"What are you sorry for, Edward?" I question through gritted teeth. I turn to face him, to confront him, to hurt him. His eyes meet mine, and even the tears slipping down his face do nothing to quench my anger. "Huh? Are you sorry for fucking me and then leaving?" He cringes, but I can't stop. "For never calling me after you went to school? For making me feel like some cheap whore?"

"Or, are you sorry that my father died?" I ask, raising my voice to yell unabashedly at him. "That the ONE man that I could count on," I pause, releasing a strangled sob. "The one man that never let me down is gone? Is that why you're sorry, Edward?"

I stop, and the sound of my voice echoes through the room until it turns to complete silence once again.

"Well, what is it, Edward?" I question, breaking the quiet. "You wanted so badly to fucking speak earlier, so SPEAK!"

"All those things," he finally says, glancing to the floor and then back to my face.. "And, so much more. I was miserable, Bella. I was so fucking unhappy without you, but I convinced myself that going back, that getting down on both my goddamn knees and begging for your forgiveness would just make it worse because you were better without me. I could live with it all, everything I put upon myself, if you were happy."

I scoff, turning my head, escaping his prison-like gaze. He moves closer to me, closing the distance with each step.

"Stop" I command. I exit the foyer into the living room, letting my eyes rake around the familiar room. My gaze settles on the black baby grand in the corner, and I can't seem to look away.

"They offered it to me," he says from the doorway, "when I graduated from medical school."

"Yeah?" I reply, absentmindedly drifting toward the piano.

"I couldn't accept it."

"Why?" I ask quietly as my finger gently drift across the keys, creating a disjointed melody.

"I don't deserve it," he answers, walking closer toward me, closing the distance quickly with his large stride. "All those afternoons we spent here at this piano, together, happy..." He continues, his voice fading away into the memories.

"Don't," I tell him.

"Please," he begs, "I've wanted, no needed, to tell you this for years. I've been so stupid, Bella. I know I hurt you..."

"SHUT UP!" I demand. "I can't listen to this right now, Edward. I was broken, alright? Is that what you want to hear? Do you want to know about all the nights I cried myself to sleep, how I cut myself off from everything, from everyone?"

I turn to look at him, and I can see the shame and regret in his eyes, tarnishing his green orbs with streaks of red. "You have no right, Edward Cullen," I cry out, emphasizing my words by jabbing my finger into his chest. "You can't just come to me on the day of my father's fucking funeral..." I trail off as the tears once again take over my body, making my voice crack and waver, regressing me back to the weak, little girl I used to be.

I refuse to be her again.

"Bella," he murmurs before engulfing me in his body, swallowing me in his arms.

"Let go of me!" I scream, struggling to get free of his grasp, hitting as hard as my limited range of motion will allow, but all he does is hold me tighter, trapping my arms between our torsos. "No, Edward," I cry, "just let go of me." I continue to throw my body around, but he doesn't budge.

"No," he grits out, moving one of his hands to my hair, caressing my locks the way he used to.

"Just let go," I beg. "I can't...I can't..." I chant.

"It's okay," he whispers into my hair, "I've got you. It's okay, now."

"I already told you it wasn't okay," I sigh into his chest as my shoulders slump in defeat. My body is too tired to fight, too exhausted to resist. He smells the same, that musky sweet scent that reminds me of home, and as much as I don't want it to be, it's comforting.

I push myself closer to his body until we are flush together, and I cry into his shirt, sniffing between each sob as he continues to run his fingers through my locks. I use his tie as a tissue, and he just grips me tighter, whispering softly into my hair.

My body relaxes into sporadic trembles, slowing my pulse, regulating my breath, as my chest loosens it's constriction on my heart.

"God," I say, exasperated. "I don't want to cry anymore. I just want..." I stop, unsure of my next words.

"What do you want, Bella?" Edward asks, his voice a little deeper, and a bolt of electricity runs through my body at his tone and words. A memory of a happier time when that exact phrase was spoken flashes through my mind, and I know exactly what I want.

It's inappropriate and it's wrong and I'll have to pay the consequences later, but I know what I want.

I take my bottom lip between my teeth and look up at him through my eyelashes. He licks his lips and his breath is heavy as he stares at my mouth. "I just want to feel good, Edward. I don't want to talk anymore, and more than anything, I want you to take me upstairs," I say with all the conviction I can muster.

"I...I..." he stutters, looking for any sign of doubt. "Bella, are you sure?"

I can feel the sadness creeping in, threatening to overpower me, and I am afraid to speak in case wails escape instead of words.

I stand, biting my lower lip to keep from crying out, and I move my hands to my back, lowering my zipper. Edward watches every move, taking in my every action like his life depends on it. I let my sheath dress hang loose on my shoulders before I remove it completely.

Edward's mouth has fallen open, but he has made no move toward me, so I turn and saunter to the stairs. Holding onto the rail, I turn back to him, arching my eyebrow. "Are you coming, Edward?" I ask with a smirk.

I can hear him behind me, stomping and panting, but I don't turn around. I need to be in control of this. At the top of the stairs, a panicky feeling passes through me. I turn my head slightly so that the stairwell to the next floor is in my peripheral. His room is up there, his bed...where our chaste kisses turned to touching and tongues and desire...where we claimed each other's virginity.

He turns to continue, but I put a hand on his arm, stopping him. Shaking my head, I move toward the guest room. I open the door, and he follows me quickly inside.

"Bella, I..." He starts as his lips find my shoulder.

"Take off your clothes," I demand, interrupting him.

I turn to watch him as he follows my orders. My eyes are drawn to his Adam's apple, bobbing seductively with every nervous swallow as he loosens his tie. His nimble fingers move to the buttons, popping each one open before letting it fall to his feet. He quickly removes his undershirt, leaving his chest bare to me, and he's even more beautiful than I remember. His body is harder and more sinuous, and I lick my lips at the thought of running my tongue across his abdomen.

He looks up at me, doubt and fear in his eyes as he moves his hands toward his pants. His pause speaks volumes, and I nod at him, hopefully squelching all questions and concerns. He takes a deep breath as he unzips and pulls his pants to his feet, leaving him standing before me in heather gray boxer briefs that thankfully leave nothing to the imagination.

I bring my hand to my collarbone, gently caressing my skin, before moving my fingers down to trace the outside of my bra. His eyes follow my hand as it journeys across my body. He takes one step toward me, and I put my hand up to stop him. "Take everything off, Edward," I purr, "and get on the bed."

He pushes his underwear down, and once it's free from the cloth confine, his cock springs out, hard and pulsing. It's so much better than what I conjured up in any of my dreams.

Edward is watching me as I take him in, standing there before me, silent and still. My eyes finally work their way back up to his face, and his green eyes flicker and burn, reflecting his feelings I'm too scared to acknowledge.

"Get on the bed," I state simply, and he does immediately. His eyes rake over my body, growing wider as I move my hands to unhook my bra. I let the straps fall forward on my arms before it falls to the floor.

A groan escapes Edward's lips the moment my breasts are released, and my nipples grow harder at the sound.

"So fucking beautiful," he murmurs as he moves his hand down to stroke his throbbing cock. I can feel my already damp panties become wetter at the sight before me, and I commit the image to my memory, to keep it forever, untarnished and perfect.

"Edward," I call out softly and his eyes raise to mine. Holding his gaze, I slowly remove my panties so that I am standing bare and completely exposed before him. His eyes take stock of my naked form again and again before settling back on my face.

"Bella, I need you to know..." he starts, but I put a finger up to my lips, shushing him.

"I told you I was through talking," I reprimand as I walk toward the bed, stalking my prey. I crawl over the end of the bed, moving myself over his body until I reach his erection. Keeping my eyes locked with his, I wrap my hand around the base. I've forgotten how thick he is, and his cock feels good under my fingers as I begin to stroke it.

"Shit," he hisses through his teeth as his body jerks forward at my touch.

"Shh," I remind him as I move my mouth toward the tip, placing a kiss on the head. I lick my favorite blue vein as Edward wraps his hands in my hair and pulls it back away from my face. I place open mouth kisses along the length, licking and nipping randomly, enjoying the sounds that my actions are responsible for. His moans make me want more, so I move back to take as much of him into my mouth as I can. When I start to bob my head on his length, stroking what I can't fit in my mouth, Edward actually growls.

I suck harder, hollowing my cheeks to increase the pressure, moving my other hand to his balls, and Edward thrusts his cock further into my mouth, hitting the back of my throat. I open my jaw wide to take him as deep as I can.

"God....Bella...yes...I...I..." He whimpers, and I relax my lips to run my tongue along the underside of the shaft. I remove my hand from his balls and run it up his hard abs then languidly around his bellybutton and nipples. I circle the tip of his cock with my tongue and then remove my mouth completely.

Edward looks down at me. "Why..." He pants out, and I move my finger to his lips, letting him know to be quiet.

I crawl further up his body until I am straddling his waist. "I have more plans for you, " I moan, "and as much as I enjoy your cock in my mouth, I want you to cum inside me." I can feel Edward shudder beneath me before he takes my finger that is still on his lips into his mouth, sucking hard and biting at my skin.

"That's nice," I murmur before replacing my finger with my lips. I have recurring fantasies about his mouth, and the moment our lips meet, even though it's been so long, it's still electric. My heart starts racing at this intimate connection, and I pull back slightly. I put his face in my hands as I move away, and Edward opens his eyes, confusion and lust clouding his features. This is not just a kiss, this is a reunion...this is possibly the worst fucking disaster...but I am too scared, too far gone, to say anything. I try to convey all my fears and hopes with my eyes, and I pray that he can still read me like he used to.

He nods, bringing my face back to his, reconnecting our lips. I take his bottom lip between mine, sucking and biting the way he likes, causing him to moan into my mouth. I take the opportunity to plunge my tongue into his open mouth, and he gladly accepts it, moving it with mine. It's perfect and effortless...it's Edward and Bella.

Our tongues fight for dominance, flicking together with intensity and force, but I don't acquiesce. He finally relents, letting me lead, and I suck his tongue into my mouth, circling it with my own, fucking it with my mouth.

"Fuck," he gasps. Breaking my grasp on his face, he moves his mouth toward my jaw and down my neck, concentrating on the dip in my collarbone that never fails to get me dripping.

"Edward," I moan as he continues his way down my body, licking and nipping at my skin, placing open mouth kisses over every inch of my shoulders and chest. I move my hands to his hair, gasping for breath when he puts his lips around my nipple, sucking and biting it gently with his teeth. His hand moves to my other breast, trapping my tip between his finger and thumb, rolling and tweaking my peak with the perfect amount of pressure.

"Yes," I mumble incoherently, rubbing my thighs together to help release the throbbing tension between my legs. Only to him does my body respond so strongly, and it's terrifying.

Edward moves his mouth to my other nipple, and I arch my back, pushing myself further into him. His hand trails down my stomach, caressing my skin as he slips further south. I willingly open my legs for him, and he takes my offering, running a finger down my slit.

"Mmm...you're so wet for me, Bella," he says against my body.

"Oh, God," I gasp, pushing his face back to my breast as he plunges two fingers into my opening. He moves his thumb to my bundle of nerves, pressing and circling lightly. It's not enough, and I moan and whimper simultaneously at the sensation.

"I've missed the way your pussy feels around my fingers. I can't wait to be inside you, to have you gripping my cock instead. God, I haven't been so hard in years, Bella. Only you..."

"Shut the fuck up, and fuck me," I scream, interrupting him before he says too much. My head clears slightly, enough to remember necessary precautions. "I'm on the pill, Edward," I state, "and I'm clean."

"Me, too," he replies, moving his mouth back up to mine, and our lips move together softly before he kisses his way to my ear.

He rubs the tip of his cock over my opening, teasing me. "Is this what you want?" He whispers into my ear, thrusting his erection between my lips.

I don't want to play. "Roll over," I growl, and he does, taking me with him. I lift my hips to hover over his cock, positioning him at my opening before I sink down slowly.

"Bella, you're so tight," he moans. I try to relax as much as I can, but I still wince when I push him in completely. I feel his hands on my face, and I reluctantly open my eyes. He is looking up at me with watery eyes and an expression I can't read.

"Bella, baby, how long has it been for you?" He asks, hissing in pleasure as I begin to work my body on his cock.

Shaking my head, I move my hands to his chest, developing a rhythm I like. He puts his hands on my waist, halting my movements. Glaring down at him, I wiggle my hips, but all he does is grip me tighter.

"How long has it been, Bella?" He demands harshly, but his face is covered in concern.

I sit up straight, still impaled on his cock, clenching my eyes shut. "It's been eight years," I mumble before opening my eyes to look right at him. "There, Edward, are you fucking happy now?" I sneer slightly, embarrassed by my shameful emission, there has been no one else but him.

"Shit," he says quietly, more to himself than to me, as he flips us over so he is hovering over me, his cock still buried inside my walls. I turn my head to the side, averting my eyes from his gaze as the tears start to roll down my face. "It's okay," he murmurs sweetly. "Bella, look at me, please," he begs. I shift my face forward, but I keep my eyes closed. "So perfect," he sighs, and I can feel his green eyes burning holes into my face.

"I wish you would have told me, Bella," he says, wiping my tears away. I let my lids fall open in frustration.

"Edward..." I start accusingly.

"Shh," he interrupts, thrusting gently. "It makes me so fucking happy that you haven't been with anyone else," he says, covering my face with kisses. "God, I don't deserve you," he states seriously, as he continues to fuck me slowly. "I never did."

I don't want to hear anymore of his confessions.

"Harder," I moan. "Fuck me harder."

"God," he growls as his thrusts get more forceful. "So tight...no one else...sweetest pussy," he mumbles incoherently.

"Yes....like that," I gasp, scratching my nails down his back as I wrap my legs around his waist, pulling him tighter to me.

"You don't know how many times I have thought about this," he yells out as his cock hits my spot, making me moan loudly and shudder in surprise.

"Right there," I scream and roll my hips, trying to get him even deeper.

"So close," he hisses as his thrusts get more erratic and even harder. "Cum for me, Bella," he demands, moving his thumb to my clit, rubbing the way he knows will push me over the edge.

"Almost...gonna...gonna..." I pant as the knot in my belly tightens and my walls start to clamp around his cock. "Fuck, Edward!!" I yell as my orgasm hits, exploding, causing my back to arch forcefully and my body to shake uncontrollably below him.

He continues to fuck me hard as I ride out my release, his thumb not relenting its ministrations on my clit. I can feel the tightness forming in my body once more as I gasp and moan through heavy breaths.

"That's it, baby," he grunts. "Cum for me again...cum with me," he growls, thrusting deep as he releases inside me, setting me off for the second time. My body milks his cock as wave after wave of pleasure courses through my body.

He pulls out slowly, collapsing against my side. "That was amazing," he pants. "Bella, I need to tell you..."

I cut off his words with my mouth, kissing him passionately. "I know," I say against his lips, and I let him pull me closer, enveloping me in his arms. He strokes my hair as his breathing calms and his body relaxes completely, and soon he's asleep.

I wiggle out of his arms, careful not to disturb his slumber. I dress quietly and make my way downstairs to the kitchen. I pick up the phone and dial the familiar number. It only rings once before he answers.

"Jake? Hey, it's Bella. Can you come get me? I'm at the Cullen's."

I wait on the porch until he arrives, the tears falling freely down my face, and I practically run to the car, throwing myself into the passenger seat.

"Bells, are you alright?" He asks, placing his warm hand on my knee, giving me a friendly squeeze.

"No, but I will be," I say through the tears, and he can tell by my tone that I don't want to talk about it. He nods, and I put my hand in his that's resting on my leg as we make our way back to my father's house and to reality.

* * *

**Well, I hope you enjoyed it. It's scornful and hurtful, but I believe that it's love under it all. **

**Thanks to Mombailey for catching my errors! ;)  
**

**Please, review! Let me know what you think!!**


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